3-5 Certainty March 5, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — emilyltripp @ 7:46 pm
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snow dayToday we woke up refreshed after 12 full hours of sleep. Sarah James suggested that maybe it was a good day to get out of bed and into the wheelchair, which was a great idea! We sat by the front door to eat breakfast and watch the snow fall–it’s been a week since we came home and started hospice care, and things are finally starting to feel a bit more even. I started a calendar to keep track of each day’s ups and downs–we’ll add to it as we go.

We’ve been talking a lot about the future. Yesterday a chaplain from the hospice came by and sat with my Dad and me for a bit. This thing we are doing–not seeking further treatment but instead focusing on palliative care–is messy. It goes against what we’ve been taught our whole lives: when you are sick, you have to do things to start or speed the healing process. But when you know that the job is too big, that treatment will only cause pain and discomfort and most likely will not succeed, this is a path to choose.

There are all kinds of ideas about how this will progress. Certain sets of symptoms mean certain things (but are not completely certain): weeks, days, hours left. The truth is that we have no idea when that moment will come–none of us do. Cynthia has been struggling lately with what most of us will face at some point in our future: the knowledge that that moment will probably be sooner than later. In true CT fashion, she is on the case. She has spoken often about being ready, and–not one to do things by halves–is a bit impatient to get on with it. There’s a box to be checked, a task to be completed, and it doesn’t seem to make sense that there’s really nothing to do but wait. Chaplain Lovelace talked about finding meaning in these days, so that’s next on our to-do list. We want to be blessed by each extra day, and not spend too much time worrying about the why? of it all.



15 Responses to “3-5 Certainty”

  1. Fran Kirkpatrick Says:

    Enjoy this sweet time with your mom. There is something so sacred and precious about just living in the moment with no other agenda except for loving one another.

  2. Karen Storey Says:

    Emily thank you for sharing. Cindy is on our hearts and in our prayers. Love to your family.

    • emilyltripp Says:

      Thank you so much. I got the sweetest email from Lynn last week filled with great stories from our childhood–we had such fun growing up together. We’ve both been blessed with amazing families.

  3. barijacobs Says:

    The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace. Bari

    • emilyltripp Says:

      My mom began quoting this verse two nights ago when the chaplain was sitting with us–it was so sweet, a little blessing she gave to us and to him.

  4. Joy Brandon Says:

    I so agree with ^Karen… these are such important days, and you are gracious to share them with us. Continual prayers for peace and togetherness <3. Always, Joy

  5. Jennifer Kidd Says:

    Dear Emily and Sarah James,
    I have followed the course of your Mom’s illness from the start and have prayed for her healing. The emotional impact she has had on others and your overwhelming love for her and faith in God will be an everlasting legacy of Cindy. You have made a courageous and correct decision to “bring her home.” As a physician I have seen so many people fail to understand the importance of being with loved ones and in familiar surroundings at the end of a loved one’s life.
    Please know that your Mom has been well loved by all who have been fortunate to know her.
    Jennifer Kidd

    • emilyltripp Says:

      We’re so glad to have her home, Jennifer. This experience makes me think a lot about how I would want things to go for myself and the rest of my family, and I can only hope that I am afforded days like these: a little bit of extra time, surrounded by the people I love that love me.

  6. Karen Says:

    Emily, I am so incredibly proud of you, Sarah James, your Mom- and all of your family. You have so graciously invited us all on this journey with you. Your writings have been so honest and transparent- pointing us all to the Jesus you know and love. You have created a legacy that will speak to generations to come. Thank you for living out loud lives that bring Him great glory. Thank you for being who you are- the Tripp family that so many know and love. Praying for special moments filled with His grace and love.
    Blessings, Karen

    • emilyltripp Says:

      Thank you, Karen. Being connected to our wonderful community in this way has made this journey a bit easier. It helps to know that there are so many people out there praying for her–that they are affected by her also.

  7. susan584600 Says:

    Cindy is immensely blessed by you, her family. What a privilege it is to be able to cherish these days together, accepting God’s plan rather than running from it. You are being lifted up in prayer!
    With love,

  8. Elaine Jackson Says:

    You all are constantly on our minds and in our prayers. I went through this with my mother. I know to some degree,
    what you are going through. Please let us know if we can do anything to help ease this time. If you need a meal or
    anything. My email is
    God Bless you!
    Elaine Jackson

    • emilyltripp Says:

      Thank you, Elaine. This loss is so strange and slow–we are just glad for this little bit of extra time with her.

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