Today scan results revealed no new growth in the tumors—and three of those measured smaller than they were almost ten weeks ago. While no growth was the hope after two cycles of the trial drugs, the reduction in size of the three largest tumors was an unexpected gift.
My platelets are not with the program yet, however, and they remain steady at 57,000. I’ll wait another week to see if they reach the 100,000 mark so I can begin cycle 3. When that happens, the study drug amount can be slightly reduced, which should help the platelets recover more quickly in the future.
I feel very grateful and cautiously optimistic right now. At the same time I remind myself that my hope is not in the trial or the results but in the One Who Heals. I must keep my focus on seeing and trusting God in the moment. While it may sound trite, the reality is that focusing on results—and not on Him—sets me up for disaster. I struggle with fear and despair if I believe He’s with me only when the results are good. In the words of Paul, “But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (1 Corinthians 8:24-25).
Therefore, I will wait and hope and believe that what God is doing in me through this cancer is part of the story of my life, and I will “praise God from Whom all blessings flow….”