“Oh, ye of little faith…” January 13, 2014

I went to my appointment today hoping that my platelets would come close enough to 100,000 so that I could return on Wednesday or Thursday to try again to meet the protocol for a second treatment. I needed an increase of 19,000 for my 81,000 count to reach 100,000, but I didn’t expect that to happen. Looking back over all of my chemotherapy experiences so far, I have never gained that much while undergoing treatment, so I was merely hopeful I would be close.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Today my platelet count is 160,000, practically double what it was one short week ago.  Double.

. . . Do you still not see or understand? . . . Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? (Mark 8:17-18)

Jesus was speaking to the disciples about their constant worry about not having enough bread, worry that persisted even after seeing Him feed the multitudes, but He is also speaking to me and maybe to you also.  Another dear friend told me this morning that dealing with cancer gives new meaning to the phrase “taking things one day at a time.” I’ll add that it also gives new meaning to all of the scriptures I’ve quoted for almost two years, all of the phrases about staying in the moment, and all of the examples of His mercy and grace that family and friends have modeled for me since my life changed on February 17, 2012.

I wish that I didn’t need the reminders, but I am so very blessed that He is faithful to remind me that He is with me always. I want my eyes to see Him, my ears to hear Him, and my mind to understand and to remember His words. I want fear not to have a hold on my heart. I want to hold fast to the truth that it’s His presence that will make these things possible, not what He does with my cancer. I want to have faith in little pieces, in making the little choices to trust and to believe what doesn’t seem possible.

Double the platelet count. In one week. That hasn’t happened to me before.

Oh, at some point, maybe even at just one single point, may it be said of me, “Oh, ye of big faith…”


What are the next steps? Labs and oncology visits next two Mondays, CT scans on Friday, February 7, to determine the size of the tumors after two cycles (notice I did not write that the scans would show if tumors have grown or spread—see, I’m trying!), and results on Monday, February 10, with treatment scheduled to start cycle 3 on that same day.


8 Responses to ““Oh, ye of little faith…””

  1. David and Roberta DeRossett Says:

    Cindy, what wonderful news for you. God does hear our pleas sometimes in miraculous ways. We will continue to pray for more of His miracles for you. We love you. David and Roberta

  2. Allison Says:


  3. Barbara Says:

    I laughed out loud at your news! Joy for today. Love you.

  4. Vicki Askew Says:

    This post takes my breath away! He does show up for us, but being human, we forget! Isn’t it amazing to get this reminder that He carries you each step and every day and continues to work miracles!? Continuing to pray and pray and pray… XOXO –

  5. Gale Payne Says:

    Congrats! And thanks for the blog … It made my evening!

    Sent from my iPhone


  6. Jennifer Kidd Says:

    Oh Cindy–That is wonderful news. I always read your updates not knowing what to expect–I am so happy for you. I will be praying for your scans to show improvement. You are a true spiritual warrior and you represent your faith in God so well. Jennifer Kidd

  7. Karen Smith Says:

    Praising God and rejoicing with you, Cindy! Great news! Your faith increases all of ours! With love, prayers and a little tap dance of joy!

  8. Dawn Peach Says:

    I think of you often and am always anxious to hear an update. Thank you for keeping us posted through your blog. So happy to hear the platelets were way up! The Peach Family joins the many others who will pray for you as you continue this battle one day at a time. As I have said before, you are such an inspiration.

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