“What can I do?” May 15, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — cindytripp @ 11:55 pm

Wednesday, May 16, is my third chemotherapy day. The last cycle was fraught with interesting side effects the first 10 days and a resurgence of familiar cancer symptoms added to the mix for the last 10 days. I’ve been very aware of the cancer and the chemo; there hasn’t really been a great day, but at the same time there hasn’t been an awful one either. I’ve heard that the experience is cumulative and that side effects can be a bit more intense with each new treatment. From my experience with just two treatments, I’d say that’s true.

Yes, it’s been interesting. I’ve been able to be at school every day, which is incredibly affirming for me because students are so honest. They tell me that they are praying for me, and some leave me notes (a few anonymously). Then they move on with their lives, which is wonderful actually, because it reminds me not to wallow in my own situation.

In the last three weeks, I’ve seen more people too, and I’m often asked, “What can I do? Of course, we are praying for you, but what else can I do.” So what do I need?

Honestly, what I need is the same thing we all need—prayer. Prayer gets me up in the morning. Prayer allows me to make it through each day, to stay focused on my students and the lesson plan. Prayer helps the side effects and symptoms not overwhelm my life. Prayer focuses my energy on the next right thing to do, and often that means I go to bed early or simply rest. Prayer keeps worry, stress, and fear away. Prayer makes breathing possible when I am struggling to pull air into my lungs. I have never been more conscious of the fruitfulness and the power of prayer than I have since February 17.

I haven’t been able to answer notes and emails, to respond to the many who have provided meals and flowers and treasures, or to move beyond the moment. I don’t know who is praying for me, but I feel every utterance in the fact that I can face each moment as it comes. Every second of my life right now is a testimony of the power of prayer. My greatest needs—even the ones I do not realize I have—are met through the prayers of those whom God has called to pray for me.

I have been humbled by this in ways I cannot express. If you see me and wonder how I am handling things, know that your prayers are the reason you see me at all. On my own, I’d be unable to leave my bed.

As I approach the end of a school year and a summer filled with three more treatments, I know that I will miss seeing people, so feel free to contact me at if you want. There may be times when it would be nice to sit and chat and not have to think about things.

Oh, I thought perhaps someone might enjoy this picture taken this week. Six of my colleagues buzzed their heads to join me in my new hair style. The least I could do, I decided, was to remove my ever-present scarf and show my completely bald head too. Even buzzed, all of these guys have more hair that I do, but they do not have any stylish scarves or at least so far they haven’t worn one.

I am so grateful for prayers, and I freely acknowledge that this is absolutely what I need.

May the Lord continue to hold us tightly in His hands as we trust Him in all things.


4 Responses to ““What can I do?””

  1. David and Roberta Says:

    We have read all of your notes and have been praying for you along with so many others. Your blog is so inspiring it is a blessing to all who read it. We love you.

  2. Susie Bess Says:

    This time of the year when we are about to have another school year end
    I am reminded ot the countless people you have touched. You ARE a blessing to all of us and we are lifting you up in prayer each day.
    I am praying Philippians 4:13. We love you.
    Susie Bess

  3. kayce hughes Says:

    It was a treat to see you last night.

  4. Gina and David Stansell, Ben, Willa and Dora Says:

    You are such a blessing to us through your life and blogs. We do pray for you daily. It really is by God’s grace that any of get out of bed in the mornings. “In Him, we live and move and have our beings,”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s